Easier To Let Go
by PheobeColelovers
Summary: Something different for me inspired by song, though not a songfic, summary Pheobe, lives in Underworld now, not what you're thinking...read to find out more. Chapter 3 Hope now up.
1. Chapter 1

_A new story I decided to write. I have a vague idea as to where it's going, but nothing concrete. If anyone has any ideas, feel free to let me know what you think._

_**I just reloaded this chapter because with the first 2 reviews, I think I ended up confusing people**_

**Easier To Let Go**

**Chapter 1-Endurance**

She awoke to the darkened chamber which had been her home for the last six months. A woman walked to her carrying a tray and placed it in front of her before leaving the room, but she only tossed it aside, unable to eat from the pain which still radiated from her jaw, a gift from her husband.

Slowly getting out of bed, she walked to the bathroom and looked into the mirror to estimate what damage had been done. It appeared that it hurt a hell of a lot more than it looked and she was able to conceal it with a small amount of make-up, something that she had become a professional at, covering up the bruises, masking the scars.

She looked down at her swollen belly and prayed for the safety of her daughter. It was because of her that she was doing this, enduring this pain. Without this agreement, her child would not have lived to the second trimester of the pregnancy. Now, at least she had a chance to be born.

Months ago, things had been perfect. A magical dream had brought her to the love of her life for one night, to Cole, which she realized weeks later had been reality when she found out she was carrying her little ladybug. Of course evil always did find a way to bring about pain and after the murder of her sisters, she was forced to choose. She chose the life of her nephews and that of her growing child, Cole's child. Forced to the Underworld and into marriage, she was assured that both Wyatt and little Chris would live a safe life with their grandfather, untouched by evil. The plan for her daughter was that of a different kind and wouldn't protect her for long. It had been promised to her that her stomach would never be touched, that she would be provided with sufficient nourishment for the growing infant, but as far as after her birth, there was no telling what would happen. She had hoped that she would have found a way out of the deal by the time she was due, but it seemed that that wouldn't be the case. She knew that if her daughter was to live, it would not be with her. She had to leave her, to give her up to save her. It was planned out. It had been for months. Potions had been thought of, spells, anything she could think of to save the small infant who would soon be born. Now she just needed to inform the person who would be entrusted with her care.

"Good morning, darling," the man greeted his wife, a grotesque smile on his face.

"Good morning," she forced out as she stood beside him, wincing as he put a hand to her jaw.

He moved in to kiss her and she held back the bile she felt rise to the back of her throat.

"I was wondering if I could go to see the children today," Pheobe started, standing back to look into his eyes. "I haven't seen them in over a month and I..."

"Miss them?" he finished. "Wasn't it enough that I let the brats live? You ask more of me? I have been more than generous to you."

"Please, Eric," she pleaded. "Just for a few minutes."

"Fine," he finally answered leaning in to kiss her once more, obviously enjoying the pained expression on her face when he did so. "You know I'm too good to you."

Afraid that she would say something to change his mind, she kept quiet. She needed to see them, to talk to her father.

"If you run, I will find you. Know that," he whispered as he pulled her close to him. "And the deal will be off. They will no longer be protected and neither will she."

Putting a hand to her stomach, she knew what would happen if she attempted to run. If she were to be caught which was a strong possibility, he would most certainly find enjoyment in the death of Belthazar's child. She would wait until their daughter was born and hope that her plan would work. Her prayers now centered on the hopes that her child would take after her father, that she would be born with his ability to shimmer.

"Auntie Pheobe!" four-year old Wyatt squealed as he ran to the woman who appeared before him.

"Hey buddy," she greeted the child, pulling him into a hug. Where's grandpa?"

She only had a few precious minutes until the spell which sent her here would send her back and as much as she loved her nephews, she needed to speak to her father. After all, the life of her daughter was on the line.

"Chris is crying," Wyatt explained, pulling his auntie down the hall and into the bedroom he shared with his younger brother.

"Pheobe," her father said, a surprised tone to his voice as he tried to quiet down the toddler.

"I don't have much time. I needed to give this to you," she told him as she took Chris from his arms and placed a letter in his hands. "I need your help, dad. She needs your help."

He read the letter as she gently rocked her nephew, who within a few minutes was asleep.

"Okay," he simply replied as he finished the letter, knowing that there were demons lurking everywhere, listening to their every word.

He quickly pulled out a match and began to burn the letter. If anyone were to see it, he knew that his only living daughter and grand-daughter would die. He was their last hope. It would be his job to raise the children, though he knew how much it would kill his baby girl to let her own be raised away from her. He knew that pain. He had experienced it firsthand.

"I love you," she told her father as she placed the now sleeping toddler back into his grand-father's arms.

She quickly kissed the young boys goodbye, feeling as the spell began to take effect. Opening her eyes she found herself back in the dark cave, surrounded by guards.

_**So, how was it? Just something that popped into my head one day. Please review and tell me what ya think. I'm gonna try and reply to every review I get for this fic**_

_**When it says the love of her life, it is referring to Cole, not Eric. She's only with him to keep her daughter and Wyatt, and Chris safe. K, now that I got that cleared up…**_


	2. A Miracle in the Midst of Madness

_**I am trying to update sooner and I know that I haven't in a while, but hopefully it won't take me 2 months to add a new chapter to this fic or any others I have. Hope everyone is still interested in my stories.**_

**Chapter 2-A Miracle in the Midst of Madness**

It was almost time. She could feel it. The labor hadn't started yet but she knew that it soon would, that this precious little miracle would have to be born into the darkened room in which her mother lived. She hated that, the fact that her little girl would have to open her eyes to a dirt-filled room, that no sun would creep through and shine on the infant's face.

As she began to feel the beginning of labor, panic began. The success of her plan rested solely on the hope that her ladybug would be able to shimmer, to get away. She had heard Cole talking of it. So long ago, it seemed, before everything had gone wrong, and they had plans for children. She had learned that shimmering was something that could be tapped into immediately. He had explained it was like orbing and Pheobe learned after his death, when Wyatt was born how fast the ability developed when the little boy, too small to even lift his head had begun to orb. Something she pleaded for God to give her little girl.

She tried to keep quiet as long as possible, afraid of what would happen when her husband learned that this was the day Cole's child would be born. He had promised not to harm the baby, but what good did a promise mean from the man responsible for making her nephews orphans, for killing her little sister before she even got the chance to begin on a family. Why he hadn't killed her along with the others, she didn't understand at first, but it didn't take long for her to realize why. He was always talking out loud to no one visible, but she knew the words were meant for Cole. Every time he hit her, a smug grin would cover his face and he would brag out loud, knowing that the almighty Belthazar could hear but do nothing to stop the pain that was being inflicted upon the woman he loved. She hoped that he wasn't watching, that his spot in limbo had him too busy to notice what was happening to her. When Eric's hand, balled up into a fist, made contact with her fragile body, she prayed that Cole's eyes had not seen, hurt by the thought that the pain inflicted on her caused the same effect on him.

Sitting on the bed, she was able to monitor her contractions which after her water had broken were rapidly becoming closer. She tried to calm down in an effort to slow the process, but she found that it was an impossible feat. This little girl was ready to be born. There was no denying it. She knew that it was any moment now and instead of being in white, clean, hospital room surrounded by skilled professionals, she was alone in a room lit only by a few lanterns on the cave-like walls. Maybe if she could just stay quiet until the girl was born and safely to her grandfather's, things would be alright. She could plan her escape and maybe, she would be able to raise her little ladybug, watch her grow along with her cousins.

Women had been having babies for centuries, way before hospitals, before advancements in technology, so she believed that she was perfectly capable of having this child. After all, she had delivered Wyatt at home and he was a healthy, beautiful child.

Breathing deeply through another contraction, she began to push, and fear gave way to hope as she reached down and felt the head of the small baby girl. Determined now, she pushed with more force as the next contraction began and soon she felt as the child became separate from her body. Pulling out what she needed from under her pillow, things she had been able to stash for this moment, she cut the cord which had been the lifeline that connected her to the small infant. Clearing the baby's nose and mouth, she pulled the girl to her, cleaning her off with a towel as she rocked, needing to prolong the moment, despite the pain she was beginning to feel. The infant began to cry, a sign that she was okay. Pheobe had waited for this, to hear her daughter's first cries, to look at her small face and count her fingers and toes.

There she was, her perfect blue-eyed angel and Pheobe couldn't help but become oblivious to her surrounding as she looked down into the face of the only minutes old infant.

The cry however was immediately heard outside of the room, something she had forgotten about as she took her first glance at the newborn girl, and Eric along with his demonic guards were surrounding her within seconds.

"Stupid witch, you could have killed you and the child. What were you thinking to have this baby alone?" he screamed at her as he came closer to the bed, ordering one of the females to remove the infant from her arms.

"Please," she whispered into the infant's ear as the demon reached out for the girl.

Desperately holding on to the small baby, she continued to plead for her safety, both to God and to Eric as she tried to buy time, as much as she could, hoping that the girl would finally shimmer away to safety.

"Please, don't hurt her," Pheobe cried, finally noticing just how much blood she was losing. "I'll do anything."

He let his fist make contact with her jaw in an effort to quiet the frantic witch, but she couldn't be silenced.

"No, please," she begged as the child was being pulled from her arms, her body becoming weak from the loss of blood. "Just let her stay with me."

Soon, she was asleep, exhausted and weak, her last memories seeming to fade away. She had tried to keep fighting, but her body wouldn't let her, too worn out, tired. It was hours later that she began to come to. Opening her eyes, she at first believed that it had all been a dream, but as she became more aware, she realized that her child was gone. The sheets hadn't been changed, still stained with the crimson blood which continued to freely fall, making it impossible for her to rise up from the position she was in. With no other options, she began to scream.

"Where is she?" Pheobe demanded as Eric appeared in front of her.

"Who?" he asked giving her a confused look though he knew that she could see through him.

"Where is she?" she screamed again, trying to pull herself out of the bed. "If you won't tell me, I'll go find her myself," she said as she shakily placed her feet on the ground.

"That would be impossible," he informed her.

"And why is that?" she asked as her heart jumped in her throat, afraid to hear his next words.

He said nothing, only smiled

"What did you do to her?" Pheobe screamed beginning to feel dizzy though she was sure she knew the answer.

"She's in a better place," he told her, making a point to sound concerned.

_**If at least one person likes this story, I am happy to continue it. I will hopefully have a new chapter up by next week. Please review.**_


	3. Hope

_**Sorry I took so long to update. Here ya go!**_

**Chapter 3-Hope**

"What do you mean?" she ordered out of him.

Without waiting for his answer, she lunged at him with all the strength she had left inside of her body, even as the room began to spin from the dizziness and loss of blood. She had no weapons, but there was no need. She had no reason to live now. She could already feel the life draining from her body, but she refused to go alone. If taking him out meant that she would live for an eternity in Hell then so be it. She would make sure that he rotted as well.

She bit, pinched, scratched, anything she could do to inflict pain upon the creature which had caused the deaths of the most important people in her life. She was too weak for any of the training she had learned. The kicks and punches were too much for her body, but she refused to give up, even as she began to slip away. She was dying, she could feel as her soul began to leave her body but as a last effort, she raised her arms to wrestle him to the ground, but he was able to easily outmaneuver her small body and without warning, she was forced to the wall where she crumpled into a pile on the cavern floor.

"Damn it, Pheobe! This isn't how it was supposed to be!" a voice screamed as Pheobe tried to stand and noticed that her surroundings had changed.

"C. . .Cole," she stammered as tears began to fall from her eyes and she ran into the comfort of his embrace. "I lost her. I'm so sorry. I lost her."

He hadn't meant for any of this to happen. He had only gone to her that night when he was sure she had completely given up on love and on . . . life. He knew what she was contemplating and he couldn't let that happen, so he appeared before her and that one night had given her hope and a future to look forward to, even if he hadn't believed it possible for her to conceive a child on that night. But his past always caught up with him and a rival from some point long ago had decided that getting to Pheobe would be the perfect way to get revenge on the ex-demon who wasn't even sure what he had done to wrong the demon, his love's present husband. It would have been a bad situation no matter what. If he hadn't 've gone to her that night, he was certain that she would have taken her life, something he couldn't bear to think about, but because he did go to her, others were dead, and his love was now stuck in-between life and death all because of his decision.

"Shh. Shh. It's okay," he whispered into her ear as he tried to dry the tears which clung to her face and dripped onto her blood-smeared clothing.

"I'm so sorry. I messed up again. I thought she would shimmer away, that she would be safe," Pheobe continued to cry, unable to breathe from the convulsive sobs which racked her body. "He got her! I didn't save her!"

"It wasn't supposed to be like this. You weren't supposed to end up here. It was supposed to change because of that night. I'm sorry. This is all my fault," he apologized. "You're married to that demon because of me. Your sisters are dead because of me. Wyatt and Chris lost their parents and now you're here all because of me and our daughter is . . . "

He couldn't continue. Paige had been right all along. 'Blood, guts, and pain follow you wherever you go'. Everything he had ever loved, he had destroyed. Even from this God forsaken plane, he was still causing pain.

"I'm sorry," he repeated more forcefully. "You have to go back, Pheobe. You have to live, for your father, for your nephews. They need you."

"But our daughter. I can't do it, Cole," she cried into his chest. "I don't want to live. Don't you understand? Nothing matters anymore. I failed our daughter. I won't fail anyone else."

"Which is why you have to go back," he told her as he held her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes.

"Why can't I just stay with you?" she pleaded.

"Because you don't belong here," he insisted.

"How do you know that?" she questioned him with a serious expression but immediately softened. "It hurts too much to live. I feel like my heart has been ripped to pieces. It hurts to breathe. I just want it to go away. I just want the pain to end."

He just held her, for how long, he couldn't say. Rocking in his arms, she continued to cry and Cole let a few tears of his own fall though he knew that he couldn't get lost in his own pain. He had to be strong for her. He had to force her back, make her see that life was worth living. He refused to allow her to become one of the lost.

"Maybe she'll end up here," Pheobe blissfully hoped as she snuggled closer to Cole. "And we'll all be together."

"No, Pheobe," Cole pulled away from her. "She's not a lost soul. She doesn't belong here and neither do you. Go back. You can't stay here!"

He abruptly stood and walked out of her reach. He wanted more than anything to pull her closer but that would only give her false hope that they could be together. They were of different worlds now and he had to make her see that. She made an effort to pull him to her, but he quickly moved away from her and felt as though he was betraying her by the look in her eyes.

"You can't stay here," he sharply told her again.

"Please Cole. I can't. She won't be there. She's the only reason I fought and I lost her," she broke down into fresh sobs.

"She . . . " he broke off as he closed his eyes and stood silently for a moment before he questioned Pheobe, "Do you feel that?"

"Feel what?" she asked, still too distraught to focus on anything. "I don't feel anything."

"Just close your eyes and focus," he instructed her and when she obeyed, he watched as a smile slowly spread across her lips. "Do you feel it?"

"It feels warm and beautiful. I can. . . I think I can hear her crying," Pheobe explained as her tears began to disappear. "Is that possible?"

"Anything is possible," he informed her as he held out his hand and waited for hers to join it. "Can you tell where it's coming from, where she is?"

"Where she can be close to her daddy, where I felt the closest to you, to our love," Pheobe said as she opened her eyes. "She's at the mausoleum."

They appeared in the dusty, dark place only a second later and the sounds of an unhappy baby girl echoed through the small building. Just hearing her cry made hope fill Pheobe's heart and she was no longer full of despair. She reached over to Cole and caressed his cheek before pulling him into a long kiss, and holding onto each other, she faded from his arms.

_**So, I hope you liked it and I'm still trying to figure out how to end it happily, but it will be up soon because I feel extremely bad about taking so long to update.**_

_**These were the lyrics that inspired this story, kind of a Cole's point of view to Pheobe. It's called NightMinds by Missy Higgins.**_

_You were blessed by a different kind of inner view_

_It's all magnified_

_The highs will make you fly_

_but the lows make you want to die_

_And I was once there_

_hanging from that very ledge where you are standing_

_so I know, it's easier to let go_

_**Please Review. I love to hear what people think of my fics, good or bad**_


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